will try to remember to repost what i can later but have to edit
874 when i ended for the morning
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Blank
Diatribe against Google:
You are stealing from your public consumers by withholding the advance algorithm which makes search work and beneficial. You are doing this to earn more money from marketing, however, because you have effectively cut search off at the knees, we do not want to use your stupid advertising engine (no longer search engine) anyway. We are not going to buy things just because you strong arm us into only being able to FIND advertisements from companies who pay for the privilege. Some of us don't even have the money, whether we would like to or not, and even if we buy stuff, we still can't use you accurately for the purpose of searching, so why bother?
Only problem is, there are no other search engines out there who do have the right information, so how did we get it before the Internet? Let's all go offline.
You are stealing from your public consumers by withholding the advance algorithm which makes search work and beneficial. You are doing this to earn more money from marketing, however, because you have effectively cut search off at the knees, we do not want to use your stupid advertising engine (no longer search engine) anyway. We are not going to buy things just because you strong arm us into only being able to FIND advertisements from companies who pay for the privilege. Some of us don't even have the money, whether we would like to or not, and even if we buy stuff, we still can't use you accurately for the purpose of searching, so why bother?
Only problem is, there are no other search engines out there who do have the right information, so how did we get it before the Internet? Let's all go offline.
20180123
Wordsmithing
Adding the visual element:
trackers
whether you write handwritten or type, but looking over the writing again, making a visual association, seeing what it looks like, quantifying and evaluating
Some people are not born auditory learners and actors. There is a way, if you want to write, to express what you feel and know and love and what won't just stay inside for you to experience but must come out for others to see in the way you most benefit from expressing it and sharing it, to associate it with visual if you are visual, or tactile, etc.
liking my words to be bigger because they seem to count more? or flow better? this is a question rather than a statement because if the words are bigger, wouldn't that mean they do not count as much? lol may be the visual thing that prompted the above statement, even though I am more an auditory learner/expresser?
stream of consciousness in a sense but used well
i.e. going back over words posted in certain locations and getting use out of them through those locations rather than dumping in a specific location and never going back and finding out how they were useful at the time or for "all" time-it's a gradient.
writing just to write but as facebook sage implied, making use, making great out of the words that you spill. writing for fun or for yourself or for no reason can be made into something that helps myself, others, etc. in probably infinite ways lol
word count challenge, if proving, how to show where you got all this information if confidential writing :D
placeholder words ehhh...
why do i run out of things to actually say to myself or for whatever purpose i'm writing before the challenge? it's not a critique necessarily, but a prompt to see what my hangups and challenges are so that I can get back to saying. i'm probably not done talking, expressing, etc., but there are many impediments, inhibitions, obstacles, positive and negative, that interrupt (even interruptions, some I want to pursue and give thought to, and some I want to address and move on)
more words elsewhere to 1000/day goal on 7 Day Creative Writing Challenge
Adding the visual element:
trackers
whether you write handwritten or type, but looking over the writing again, making a visual association, seeing what it looks like, quantifying and evaluating
Some people are not born auditory learners and actors. There is a way, if you want to write, to express what you feel and know and love and what won't just stay inside for you to experience but must come out for others to see in the way you most benefit from expressing it and sharing it, to associate it with visual if you are visual, or tactile, etc.
liking my words to be bigger because they seem to count more? or flow better? this is a question rather than a statement because if the words are bigger, wouldn't that mean they do not count as much? lol may be the visual thing that prompted the above statement, even though I am more an auditory learner/expresser?
stream of consciousness in a sense but used well
i.e. going back over words posted in certain locations and getting use out of them through those locations rather than dumping in a specific location and never going back and finding out how they were useful at the time or for "all" time-it's a gradient.
writing just to write but as facebook sage implied, making use, making great out of the words that you spill. writing for fun or for yourself or for no reason can be made into something that helps myself, others, etc. in probably infinite ways lol
word count challenge, if proving, how to show where you got all this information if confidential writing :D
placeholder words ehhh...
why do i run out of things to actually say to myself or for whatever purpose i'm writing before the challenge? it's not a critique necessarily, but a prompt to see what my hangups and challenges are so that I can get back to saying. i'm probably not done talking, expressing, etc., but there are many impediments, inhibitions, obstacles, positive and negative, that interrupt (even interruptions, some I want to pursue and give thought to, and some I want to address and move on)
more words elsewhere to 1000/day goal on 7 Day Creative Writing Challenge
Sunday, January 7, 2018
20180107
Who in my life should be acknowledged more? Would I like to acknowledge them for something today?
well, trying to pause or start the timer
Jesus, obviously, but that starts to cause fear. let me not be ashamed. let me live in the Spirit and let Him shine through me in His own way
it seems like such a task. let it go!
love peace hope strength speak through me Lord I love You so.
rings interruptions power strength
love
Brian
answer my real question
thank you :D
double spacing between words somehow interesting.
i know why it causes fear. He has already overcome it!
grace, peace, the fruits
who else?
brian
challenging me being strong smiling even when he doesn't feel like it redaction
helping me live day to day
next!
"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small.
Lao Tzu"
"What is the most frustrating habit I have? What should I do to get rid of this habit?"
copy paste issues and happy for shift v
not wanting to write on some of these topics
freewrite redact
breath in getting light headed due to cold
sounds people make when they sneeze or yawn
distracted by good part of peanuts movie :D
ok let's try this:
forgetting Jesus
maybe i should....
will be connecting with Him more; see 21 days of prayer the cross mount dora
will have to ask for no interruptions from friends when I do this
i want to be completely honest but also post this. maybe i should just keep it private. :D every little thought that comes into the brain
as accountability...?
get myself outside myself: social, Jesus
who else?
brian
challenging me being strong smiling even when he doesn't feel like it redaction
helping me live day to day
next!
"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small.
Lao Tzu"
"What is the most frustrating habit I have? What should I do to get rid of this habit?"
copy paste issues and happy for shift v
not wanting to write on some of these topics
freewrite redact
breath in getting light headed due to cold
sounds people make when they sneeze or yawn
distracted by good part of peanuts movie :D
ok let's try this:
forgetting Jesus
maybe i should....
will be connecting with Him more; see 21 days of prayer the cross mount dora
will have to ask for no interruptions from friends when I do this
i want to be completely honest but also post this. maybe i should just keep it private. :D every little thought that comes into the brain
as accountability...?
get myself outside myself: social, Jesus
Saturday, February 25, 2017
One Hundred Fifty-One
Today’s Truth
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4 NIV).
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4 NIV).
Lord, please keep me contagious for good! :D
Help me to "stem the tide of malice" where it's begun, and to not start something whether I can finish it or not, unless it be from You.
[flat feet and frustration in the airport]
(Started yesterday but did not quite finish. Also posted on 720 since it was still selected. That's why I don't like the new selector, Blogger.)
[typical look of someone as they're doing something (happy, sad, determined, etc.)
"Gretchen had an effervescent sense of joy … wiping toilet seats. It seemed to come from a deep-seated heart of gratitude. And it spilled over to every single woman who left her station.
"On the counter rested a tip jar filled to the brim with thanks. But I don’t think the 'tips' were for wiping the germs away from the toilet seats, but for wiping the doldrums away from their hearts and frowns off of their faces. And for some strange reason, I just wanted to give Gretchen a hug. I did. She didn’t mind."
[real service versus just doing a job]
[typical look of someone as they're doing something (happy, sad, determined, etc.)
"Gretchen had an effervescent sense of joy … wiping toilet seats. It seemed to come from a deep-seated heart of gratitude. And it spilled over to every single woman who left her station.
[How you purpose your attitude and then interact with others can affect them, for good or for bad.]
[A good attitude helps others want to spend more time with you.]
"On the counter rested a tip jar filled to the brim with thanks. But I don’t think the 'tips' were for wiping the germs away from the toilet seats, but for wiping the doldrums away from their hearts and frowns off of their faces. And for some strange reason, I just wanted to give Gretchen a hug. I did. She didn’t mind."
[real service versus just doing a job]
Let’s Pray
God, I am so thankful today. Thank You for eyes that see, ears that hear, lips that speak, legs that walk, and arms that hug. Thank You that I have a roof over my head, shoes on my feet, and food in my pantry. I pray You will set a guard over the door of my mouth so that no grumbling will escape its threshold. Help me be a contagious carrier of gratitude.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
God, I am so thankful today. Thank You for eyes that see, ears that hear, lips that speak, legs that walk, and arms that hug. Thank You that I have a roof over my head, shoes on my feet, and food in my pantry. I pray You will set a guard over the door of my mouth so that no grumbling will escape its threshold. Help me be a contagious carrier of gratitude.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Get a piece of paper and write the numbers 1-100 down the left-hand side.
Then write down 10 things you are thankful for by numbers 1-10.
Tuck the list into your Bible and add to the list as things you are grateful for come to
mind.
Get a piece of paper and write the numbers 1-100 down the left-hand side.
Then write down 10 things you are thankful for by numbers 1-10.
Tuck the list into your Bible and add to the list as things you are grateful for come to
mind.
1. the Holy Trinity
2. family
3. friends
4. life
5. acquaintances
6. strangers
7. 音楽
8. love
9. freedom
10. peace
Friday, February 24, 2017
20170224
Still had people talking to me last night. I'm glad it's good for them, but it is part of why I wake up. I don't really mind so much. It's nice for both of us, I think, just to be able to talk ad lib.
Writing all this is probably improving my mind. That insertion of "ad lib" was pretty accurate.
I remembered as I sat here that there was someone who wanted to spend time with me today. Let's see if I see him. Among that population, there are many who are willing to try. They speak of buying me lunch, etc., though one time, without knowing me, a man asked me to sleep with him without me knowing him. Must have been the false rumors about who I'd slept with that originated from the shelter at which I was staying at the time.
No teeth this morning. I'll probably wait until breakfast. I went back and forth as to whether to use my camera, and as to where to go. I finally decided on IU and biscuits and gravy.
I'm growing tired, and I want to do my Bible study, so I'll (pause?) here for now.
Writing all this is probably improving my mind. That insertion of "ad lib" was pretty accurate.
I remembered as I sat here that there was someone who wanted to spend time with me today. Let's see if I see him. Among that population, there are many who are willing to try. They speak of buying me lunch, etc., though one time, without knowing me, a man asked me to sleep with him without me knowing him. Must have been the false rumors about who I'd slept with that originated from the shelter at which I was staying at the time.
No teeth this morning. I'll probably wait until breakfast. I went back and forth as to whether to use my camera, and as to where to go. I finally decided on IU and biscuits and gravy.
I'm growing tired, and I want to do my Bible study, so I'll (pause?) here for now.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Booking Through Thursday 20170209
This post may not have the requisite 720 words, but it is my daily public journal, so I felt the response most appropriate here.
"What kind of book do you like to curl up with on a snowy day?"
I'm not sure that the weather really affects my reading habits; however, I like to read different things in different locations, with different drinks. Many of these "ideals" likely coincide with what others would say in the same situations.
Locations:
the beach--magazine/light reading
the mountains--intellectual (Is this a made up thing?)
home--nonfic/ref, something I'm comforted with (favorite series, Chicken Soup/inspirational, rare occasion that I'll want a novel/fic)
Drinks:
hot cocoa/snow--comforting, familiar
margarita--cultural
soda--mostly generic in the sense of anything (not specifically pertaining to a specific genre), but again, ties to a location in some circumstances, read: beach
In general, I love reading, especially non-fic/memoirs (this line gets blurred, since I think Harry Potter series/Room are so real in my mind--other good writing), not just for reference. I'll pick up just about anything when I want to read. If it's worth it, keep going. If not (have yet to find too many of those, though some targeted to a different (younger, etc.) audience), give it back to the "Little Free Library" I got it from and begin the search again. :D
"What kind of book do you like to curl up with on a snowy day?"
I'm not sure that the weather really affects my reading habits; however, I like to read different things in different locations, with different drinks. Many of these "ideals" likely coincide with what others would say in the same situations.
Locations:
the beach--magazine/light reading
the mountains--intellectual (Is this a made up thing?)
home--nonfic/ref, something I'm comforted with (favorite series, Chicken Soup/inspirational, rare occasion that I'll want a novel/fic)
Drinks:
hot cocoa/snow--comforting, familiar
margarita--cultural
soda--mostly generic in the sense of anything (not specifically pertaining to a specific genre), but again, ties to a location in some circumstances, read: beach
In general, I love reading, especially non-fic/memoirs (this line gets blurred, since I think Harry Potter series/Room are so real in my mind--other good writing), not just for reference. I'll pick up just about anything when I want to read. If it's worth it, keep going. If not (have yet to find too many of those, though some targeted to a different (younger, etc.) audience), give it back to the "Little Free Library" I got it from and begin the search again. :D
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
20160921
Writing morning pages may be a more difficult habit to get into than doing Bible study every day, even if for different reasons. Nevertheless, I will call on my God to help me persist. As I understand, they will be very helpful.
I would like to decide what to do about Writer's Circle, how to give it more life. (I just thought like a dictationist. ;) ).
The other forms of art, I did not even contribute to. I would like to get a painter marker and jazz up my tray. I say I did not contribute, but I bought supplies (granted, lazy ones, but I wanted to see how they'd work) and actually COMPLETED a project. That should say something.
I still feel that working toward an arbitrary number, even one given structure by an outside source, is false, but I will again do my best and call on God to persist, since it appears to work and since I need something!
Got distracted by email, and what was I looking for?
Also did snooze alarm for singing and dismiss alarm for WC.
Still somewhat fearful of calling Marylhurst.
Remembering what the leader, and the Big Book said about giving God fears and focusing on recovery/helping others. Forgiving others, I suppose, is the way to not worry about what others have done to me. Sounds Biblical. I should find out what they all say. It is so freeing to know that I have a different focus from [resentment, fear, selfishness, and dishonesty].
Good thing to expand yourself as well. Even if you get distracted, you can come back with more if you open up and go out.
What about a "psychic change"? (It's just a brain change, not an ESP reference.) God, my higher power, is helping with that.
What am I doing? I would like to do life, not just work out of desperation, but right now, I am desperate. Whichever issue I'm addressing, I think the part where life is unmanageable is true. Help me to give it over to You, Lord. Thank You!
What place to give tech. I could write on that for eons and probably never finish if I lived that long. I typed a transcription the other day where the life of the interviewed paralleled nearly exactly a life I imagined and could have achieved had I placed a slightly higher stock in tech. It was eerie and inspirational. I don't have to give up here. I can choose to do what I like and then achieve it.
I find myself going back to the 750. I would like to (tried to put have to) type nearly as much as I have already typed once over again.
None of the subjects seem to be sticking today. Maybe it's because I have time. I really want to get out of Tuesday, too. Meh.
The subjects were "right and rare" yesterday (RENT reference). Rocking chairs in multistory buildings over creaky floors lol.
Taking the car apart and putting it back together video with bookmarks and bags numerically labeled.
Being "afraid" people will abuse me and steal my ideas and work versus following the first step in 7 Habits (Covey) of sharing freely and trusting God and the universe to bring it back. Wanting to be rewarded for pursuing something because that fosters the pursuit of other things.
I can tell I'm worried about money today. Please take that, Lord.
If God is not near the top of density, I have issues! (Of course, that might be because Lord, Jesus, etc.)
There is power in the blood!
There is God, then there is me and other people, and then there is music. I am excited about the sheet music I have to play piano, but still ambivalent tending toward negative about the guitar, probably because I consider it a rejection piece. They didn't really care about my piano playing skills, at least it seemed to me.
So many interests. Saving pictures. Archery (came from the blog that appeared after I clicked next blog from mine). Thinking about the style of everything. How fun!
What other fun, positive things can I think about?
I have made good habits (daily self-care) and am making other good habits (changing the way I say things and focusing on God's view).
I have breath, health, life, music, a God who cares, love, power, ability, art, potential, friends (with these same things), etc. (to infinity!).
I have library books. They will help me to do things that I want to do.
I have a flexible schedule so that I can attend CreativeLive's photo week.
I have the ability to consume less-than-healthy things and not die, and I have the ability to say no to them.
What else is recommended for the pages?
A person justifiably got rid of the workbook. I should get another one.
Their lives are not perfect just because they got rid of me, but I should (there's that word) hope for that. I'm not there yet. Lol.
Where is my love? I am focusing on staying stable, but I really want a deep, sustaining love from another human. I know I have that from God, and that is (should be?) enough, but I appreciate romance, etc.
What else will pop into my head until I get there?
Yay, yay. I'm there.
I would like to decide what to do about Writer's Circle, how to give it more life. (I just thought like a dictationist. ;) ).
The other forms of art, I did not even contribute to. I would like to get a painter marker and jazz up my tray. I say I did not contribute, but I bought supplies (granted, lazy ones, but I wanted to see how they'd work) and actually COMPLETED a project. That should say something.
I still feel that working toward an arbitrary number, even one given structure by an outside source, is false, but I will again do my best and call on God to persist, since it appears to work and since I need something!
Got distracted by email, and what was I looking for?
Also did snooze alarm for singing and dismiss alarm for WC.
Still somewhat fearful of calling Marylhurst.
Remembering what the leader, and the Big Book said about giving God fears and focusing on recovery/helping others. Forgiving others, I suppose, is the way to not worry about what others have done to me. Sounds Biblical. I should find out what they all say. It is so freeing to know that I have a different focus from [resentment, fear, selfishness, and dishonesty].
Good thing to expand yourself as well. Even if you get distracted, you can come back with more if you open up and go out.
What about a "psychic change"? (It's just a brain change, not an ESP reference.) God, my higher power, is helping with that.
What am I doing? I would like to do life, not just work out of desperation, but right now, I am desperate. Whichever issue I'm addressing, I think the part where life is unmanageable is true. Help me to give it over to You, Lord. Thank You!
What place to give tech. I could write on that for eons and probably never finish if I lived that long. I typed a transcription the other day where the life of the interviewed paralleled nearly exactly a life I imagined and could have achieved had I placed a slightly higher stock in tech. It was eerie and inspirational. I don't have to give up here. I can choose to do what I like and then achieve it.
I find myself going back to the 750. I would like to (tried to put have to) type nearly as much as I have already typed once over again.
None of the subjects seem to be sticking today. Maybe it's because I have time. I really want to get out of Tuesday, too. Meh.
The subjects were "right and rare" yesterday (RENT reference). Rocking chairs in multistory buildings over creaky floors lol.
Taking the car apart and putting it back together video with bookmarks and bags numerically labeled.
Being "afraid" people will abuse me and steal my ideas and work versus following the first step in 7 Habits (Covey) of sharing freely and trusting God and the universe to bring it back. Wanting to be rewarded for pursuing something because that fosters the pursuit of other things.
I can tell I'm worried about money today. Please take that, Lord.
If God is not near the top of density, I have issues! (Of course, that might be because Lord, Jesus, etc.)
There is power in the blood!
There is God, then there is me and other people, and then there is music. I am excited about the sheet music I have to play piano, but still ambivalent tending toward negative about the guitar, probably because I consider it a rejection piece. They didn't really care about my piano playing skills, at least it seemed to me.
So many interests. Saving pictures. Archery (came from the blog that appeared after I clicked next blog from mine). Thinking about the style of everything. How fun!
What other fun, positive things can I think about?
I have made good habits (daily self-care) and am making other good habits (changing the way I say things and focusing on God's view).
I have breath, health, life, music, a God who cares, love, power, ability, art, potential, friends (with these same things), etc. (to infinity!).
I have library books. They will help me to do things that I want to do.
I have a flexible schedule so that I can attend CreativeLive's photo week.
I have the ability to consume less-than-healthy things and not die, and I have the ability to say no to them.
What else is recommended for the pages?
A person justifiably got rid of the workbook. I should get another one.
Their lives are not perfect just because they got rid of me, but I should (there's that word) hope for that. I'm not there yet. Lol.
Where is my love? I am focusing on staying stable, but I really want a deep, sustaining love from another human. I know I have that from God, and that is (should be?) enough, but I appreciate romance, etc.
What else will pop into my head until I get there?
Yay, yay. I'm there.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
20160920
Life is rich and full. There are so many things to think about, talk about, and do. Where do people get broken?
There are probably many places people get broken. Perhaps I should start with myself, both so that i am not assuming and so that I can have a smaller field on which to focus.
Depression is even too big a category.
Perhaps thinking about one aspect of depression will help. What about if I concentrate on
This will have to be continued later because I must catch the 1PM bus.
There are probably many places people get broken. Perhaps I should start with myself, both so that i am not assuming and so that I can have a smaller field on which to focus.
Depression is even too big a category.
Perhaps thinking about one aspect of depression will help. What about if I concentrate on
This will have to be continued later because I must catch the 1PM bus.
20160920
Life is rich and full. There are so many things to think about, talk about, and do. Where do people get broken?
There are probably many places people get broken. Perhaps I should start with myself, both so that i am not assuming and so that I can have a smaller field on which to focus.
Depression is even too big a category.
Perhaps thinking about one aspect of depression will help. What about if I concentrate on
This will have to be continued later because I must catch the 1PM bus.
There are probably many places people get broken. Perhaps I should start with myself, both so that i am not assuming and so that I can have a smaller field on which to focus.
Depression is even too big a category.
Perhaps thinking about one aspect of depression will help. What about if I concentrate on
This will have to be continued later because I must catch the 1PM bus.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
20151112
Entered the SC Johnson sweeps but did not win (instantaneous). I did not understand recording a reaction video when I am not yet with my family. Perhaps they should make it more clear, but I was already on the page where I had to cancel before I could read further.
Still trying to write novel, so these may be shorter for now, but recording stream of consciousness that I will not use in novel.
Still trying to write novel, so these may be shorter for now, but recording stream of consciousness that I will not use in novel.
Monday, September 14, 2015
20150914
Gotta write somewhere. Gotta write something. What an appropriate forum.
I'm feeling nervous. I'm sure some of it is starting lessons with a new voice teacher, but I don't know what the rest is.
Perhaps that I'm still angry at X1.
Do "they" choose librarians intentionally who can walk fast? The lady helping me be "another set of eyes" flew down the short stretch to the graphic novels.
Going to look up Julia Cameron. BRB....
Got her and also some note about Letters to a Young Artist... lol. Going to look up Wilke, whose name I only just now got. Haha.
Well, got to checking out Cameron on line and now it's time for warmups. Later.
Edit at 4:28:
Well, really annoying day where nothing worked. Gotta love that, right? Man, the guy behind me is tapping loudly.
That just reminded me of when I asked Marilyn about adverbs and who and whom usage and when grandma had me call her about speaking Italian and when grandma told me about the three degrees.
Typing that reminded me of how important showing off was and the aunt whose name I cannot remember right now and Bradley and Susan and their daughters.
I really don't feel like much right now. Earlier I was thinking, how do you get through places where you are not doing so well to places where you're thriving? What are the instruments?
Only at 234 words, checking Word for count, and finding out that I, at least, can't find word count for a notebook. Pasted in a boring document. Moving on. (P.S. Did not know that there were notebook templates, so that's a plus.)
Just thought of Oprah and her thankfulness initiative.
Things for Which to Be Thankful:
1. breathing
2. stuff
3. food
4. some people
5. music
6. the bari Ray sent me (cried watching that earlier)
7. mom being in my life (even if only for a short period)
8. intelligence
9. changing self-talk around
10. introspection
11. extroversion
12. the library
13. the studios
14. martha's house
15. apples
16. apples
17. God
18. Jesus
19. the Holy Spirit
20. the spirit God gave me
21. light
22. reading
Although I feel a little better, maybe I would feel a lot better with some kind of mood regulator. For now, gonna try food.
Edit at 4:42
So, remembered dreaming something about mom and losing her again. Also dreamt about work. I had to keep training people, but there was one really lazy one and she was gonna get me in trouble so I did my best to remain courteous and encourage her. She didn't move, but work appreciated my attitude, so they just disciplined her.
I'm feeling nervous. I'm sure some of it is starting lessons with a new voice teacher, but I don't know what the rest is.
Perhaps that I'm still angry at X1.
Do "they" choose librarians intentionally who can walk fast? The lady helping me be "another set of eyes" flew down the short stretch to the graphic novels.
Going to look up Julia Cameron. BRB....
Got her and also some note about Letters to a Young Artist... lol. Going to look up Wilke, whose name I only just now got. Haha.
Well, got to checking out Cameron on line and now it's time for warmups. Later.
Edit at 4:28:
Well, really annoying day where nothing worked. Gotta love that, right? Man, the guy behind me is tapping loudly.
That just reminded me of when I asked Marilyn about adverbs and who and whom usage and when grandma had me call her about speaking Italian and when grandma told me about the three degrees.
Typing that reminded me of how important showing off was and the aunt whose name I cannot remember right now and Bradley and Susan and their daughters.
I really don't feel like much right now. Earlier I was thinking, how do you get through places where you are not doing so well to places where you're thriving? What are the instruments?
Only at 234 words, checking Word for count, and finding out that I, at least, can't find word count for a notebook. Pasted in a boring document. Moving on. (P.S. Did not know that there were notebook templates, so that's a plus.)
Just thought of Oprah and her thankfulness initiative.
Things for Which to Be Thankful:
1. breathing
2. stuff
3. food
4. some people
5. music
6. the bari Ray sent me (cried watching that earlier)
7. mom being in my life (even if only for a short period)
8. intelligence
9. changing self-talk around
10. introspection
11. extroversion
12. the library
13. the studios
14. martha's house
15. apples
16. apples
17. God
18. Jesus
19. the Holy Spirit
20. the spirit God gave me
21. light
22. reading
Although I feel a little better, maybe I would feel a lot better with some kind of mood regulator. For now, gonna try food.
Edit at 4:42
So, remembered dreaming something about mom and losing her again. Also dreamt about work. I had to keep training people, but there was one really lazy one and she was gonna get me in trouble so I did my best to remain courteous and encourage her. She didn't move, but work appreciated my attitude, so they just disciplined her.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
20150521
With all of the other things I'm writing daily, how will I ever get to this?
Lots of memories today, too. Woke up with them. Don't exactly remember now-vivid dreams but did not document. Did that cause the reminiscent flow?
Lots of memories today, too. Woke up with them. Don't exactly remember now-vivid dreams but did not document. Did that cause the reminiscent flow?
Saturday, May 16, 2015
20150516
I was just thinking about how this being up is starting to annoy me, and I want to change that attitude. It is a good reminder to do it, and I must be able to write even when it is required of me, not just when I have some brilliant insight on which to repose. I also must not let its indication of a number of words limit me. People who read this, namely, me, will not mind if I ramble on and on, since it's just my morning pages. If I were to go on too long in a thesis paper for instance, the instructors/board would be justified in calling me over-verbose. However, this is my space and a place where it's accepted, and somewhat encouraged to do so if that's what makes the good things work.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
20150504
I love you, baby! to my dog, Mary, all the time.
franticness
I love the band, Cake. I don't care if their songs sound all alike. They have moments of musical genius, and at least it's a good sound. My big thing is that I love their lyrics. Have a listen. There's no fanlisting. I think I'll make one one of these days.
^^Part One^^
(P.S.) My fingers automatically do what I really want them to even though I have brain "fluffs" sometimes.
Granny saying that "fluff" is better to say than fart.
Eating things we shouldn't have when we were kids and the consequences
With Bree in the computer lab and dancing at ATT
(what else do I remember from being at her barracks?)
Dale Sands' people with blonde hair and brown eyes and the tree swing
^^A Very Long P.S. (Part One-A)^^
franticness
I love the band, Cake. I don't care if their songs sound all alike. They have moments of musical genius, and at least it's a good sound. My big thing is that I love their lyrics. Have a listen. There's no fanlisting. I think I'll make one one of these days.
^^Part One^^
(P.S.) My fingers automatically do what I really want them to even though I have brain "fluffs" sometimes.
Granny saying that "fluff" is better to say than fart.
Eating things we shouldn't have when we were kids and the consequences
With Bree in the computer lab and dancing at ATT
(what else do I remember from being at her barracks?)
Dale Sands' people with blonde hair and brown eyes and the tree swing
^^A Very Long P.S. (Part One-A)^^
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
20150513
On the inside looking out. Perhaps a worse feeling than being outside looking in. There have been times when I really felt the drive to look like everyone else, to do what they're doing. These times have been few and far between. For the most part, I'm the type to see what exactly we can get by going outside the established norm. "Thinking outside the box," (whether you will, or you won't).
I love to challenge myself, and I love being challenged by the world (to a point--too much young death). Aligning more with the mental and physical synonym venture rather than accost! Requiring passion and bravery rather than patience or planning.(113)
I love to challenge myself, and I love being challenged by the world (to a point--too much young death). Aligning more with the mental and physical synonym venture rather than accost! Requiring passion and bravery rather than patience or planning.(113)
Thursday, May 7, 2015
20150507
approx 600 words from Bible study
12:16 PM 5/7/2015
162 words of private memories/memory songs
12:22 PM 5/7/2015
476 freeish words
_____________________________________
1238/750
(Dr. Sykes at my IUB Motown class's Sock Hop, Summer 2013)
What to write about today? Why do I nearly always start with that question? Thinking about the prophesy about questioning as inevitable after that.
12:16 PM 5/7/2015
162 words of private memories/memory songs
12:22 PM 5/7/2015
476 freeish words
_____________________________________
1238/750
(Dr. Sykes at my IUB Motown class's Sock Hop, Summer 2013)
What to write about today? Why do I nearly always start with that question? Thinking about the prophesy about questioning as inevitable after that.
Mary’s laying here and being a nice little electric blanket
in the relatively cool A/C.
What subjects are interesting this morning? I know I woke up
with writing in my head. (Thanks, Rainer Maria Rilke/Sister Act.) Frequently I
wake up with a song as well, just like Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) quotes
to character Rita Watson (Lauryn Hill). http://classicsdefined.com/letters.html
Abbreviations of thoughts that people who I want to know
will understand or remember but that don’t give too much away.
I miss mom. Wrote a mother’s day post today and hearing
songs I sang with her and recognizing her lineage and influence in objects
scattered around the room, some as random as the Raphael Ninja Turtle figure my
friend bought for me as a present for my nephew. Aunt Robin and mom singing
Marty Robbins’ “Spanish Lullaby” with us in the back of the car on any number
of occasions or on the front porch and the ensuing harmonization discussion
that once followed.
At least I can get some of this down. Sometimes I worry
about all the time and interesting memories that I’ve lost and then I remember
jumping in the fountain after mom picked me up from Bay Street players or Grandma
Martha’s story about Deborah C. overhearing my singing in the costume closet in
the rafters or my courage in actually trying out for American Idol [too nervous
but gorgeous voice] or skating with Skate World in the parade, a small number
of seemingly innumerable memories that surface from time to time, I am sure
floating down from above to remind me that my life has been full and blessed,
no matter the number of tragedies I face.
Inspired voice versus original voice in singing (various
sources and Brian) and writing—if I wake up, is that more my original voice
than going through the day having interacted with outside stimuli and then
writing “under the influence”? (Especially reading Lorrie Smith. I realized
that she writes like I think I might do best, in short, beautifully phrased,
staccato stream of conscious and subconsciousness.)
It’s still hard to write 1667 for morning pages, so I may
choose to stick to 750 for the randomness and do what the one blogger (if you
are that blogger, please let me know and I’ll update this) who recommended the
plan and some other great hints for easily exceeding 1667 words a day for
novels.
As for now, I’m still writing and coming up with things, so
perhaps I’ll continue. Let me see how many words more private memories add (66).
Actually, I’ve got to get going with the day, so I’ll go
with the 750 for this morning. More later, I hope!
Thursday, April 30, 2015
20150430
What Women Want-we don't know ourselves
For three or four months out of the year, the size of a buck cannot be measured. As they shed their antlers, they roam wild, free to shapeshift as they please.
More here later. I hope. ;)
Yawn, and wait for the life to refill your sleeping form. Beauty resumes its course across your face, fresh (hopefully) air fills your lungs, and...(interruptions erupt)
20150429
There is nothing to write about and there is everything. There are tears in another girl's eyes that I have cried before, yet they are uniquely hers.
I'm on another precipice (When am I not? When am I on that solid ground that I built with God in a faith and identity unshakeable, where I can reach others through a strength fully my own yet given to me by Someone stronger than everything in the world that falls apart.)
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
20150422
(First 99 words censored for privacy, but I promise I did write them--the following would be too much effort if I just pretended:
(I cannot promise that I didn't just type 99 completely random words to take up space and make up this story, but what writing isn't 100 random words organized over a quality gradient? If you're that concerned about it, thank you! (But you'll never pry those words out of my head, even with a truth serum!) See? Completely random.))
Oh. My 100th word is “Oh.” I did notice the 99th word, somewhat auspicious in itself, but did not attempt to choose something like “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” to supersede it. The mere fact that I have stopped to point this out takes something mildly funny and ironic and deflates the joke. Of course, I could have left it as “my,” just about as promising as “oh.”
(I cannot promise that I didn't just type 99 completely random words to take up space and make up this story, but what writing isn't 100 random words organized over a quality gradient? If you're that concerned about it, thank you! (But you'll never pry those words out of my head, even with a truth serum!) See? Completely random.))
Oh. My 100th word is “Oh.” I did notice the 99th word, somewhat auspicious in itself, but did not attempt to choose something like “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” to supersede it. The mere fact that I have stopped to point this out takes something mildly funny and ironic and deflates the joke. Of course, I could have left it as “my,” just about as promising as “oh.”
That’s 163. (Well, that was 163, but if I keep typing...oh, you get the idea. The idea is gotten?)
What else to talk about? Having friends in high places...writing your own writing prompts? Why isn’t that a fragment? Especially when “It sort of rhymes” is. What about the question of questions and questioning? Is it too old? Is it still relevant? Does it still cause problems? It seems to cause an unnecessary verbosity. The program let me keep that word without so much as a red squiggle.
Here we are at another precipice. A third of the way to the end and what word do I choose? “Here.” Perhaps the more important word, but just as innocuous, is “we.” Well, that one might have a little more power to move, especially as it involves the egos of the “more than one.” (Or the royal.) (Yes, I use too many parentheses.)
The 251st word as important rather than, or perhaps with, the 250th reflects the embarkation (Yes! That’s also a word!) on the second third of the goal of 750 words (seeing that I am an overachiever who must always give that little extra, as in running a 6 minute jog when 5 is assigned (which can be problematic in its own right, especially if brevity and efficiency are the order of the day)).
If I were to break down the actual requirement of 720, we would be no better off with “me,” that self-centered, often highly-boring word based in the universe of a single individual with perhaps no more to offer than spending their bi-monthly Friday night paycheck drinking beer and falling asleep to the fishing channel in their Goodwill-acquired easy chair (such a state not necessarily being viewed as negative by the author).
Then there is the 500th word, which considered in the light of 720 words seems less important that the 480th that marks the (my favorite “word of note”) halfway point of accomplishment. In the land where efforts are marked by some silly sense of “going the extra mile (or minute, as it is in this case),” perhaps the word “silly” might be attributed some special meaning, however appropriately ironic. In this story, let’s just ignore it.
Or how about having a nifty milestone fall on the actual number being stated in the passing of the story? Since I have gone way too overboard on the subject as is, let’s ignore that, too, and see if we can find a different rather monotonous subject to contemplate.
Oh, no! I can’t think of any more to say. It appears that unlike the life of purpose described above as working for a living and then enjoying it in an even more productive way as finding rest on the 7th day, I cannot think of a single subject other than the number of words I face. Being a writer, that precarious state doubles my sin, since no one wants to hear a poet with flowery words but no substance.
Even those poets who use words in a beautiful way without saying anything at all have an advantage since they are able to find a way to disguise their emptiness around an imperceptible inner structure. As for me, I am doomed to talk about absolutely nothing in a gaudy, inelegant way, all to achieve the goal of puffing up my word count (okay, so puffing isn’t entirely without its virtues, but I had to work really hard not to type antidisestablishmentarianism or something equally as showy and irrelevant (as authors are wont to do) and somehow make it fit.)
I could have stopped at showy, bringing myself up short, but irrelevant in this case is just too perfect to resist. Also, if you want to type beyond your 720 adrenaline-inspiring words, how do you count them? I know from experience you don’t get rollover. That would defeat the purpose.
And how do you stop? Morning pages certainly cannot produce the kind of writing that will help you afford the power to keep typing or the light to keep from going blind after a few days of dedication, so should you stop mid-sentence at 720 or the mind-numbing 750 (considering that it will likely be not often that you end your sentence precisely on that round number that would bring you so much peace) so that you can begin your slave, er, paid quota for the day?
Please reassure me that you will keep going, that you will pay homage to the 1000 words that aided you in giving that little bit of mental extra into the writing with which you paper your walls in melted gold (of course that’s not real...I’m a WRITER!) by typing the two extra words that will maintain the properly worded, edited, and structured sentences that comprise all of your writing. Right? Right. Have a nice day. “And may [(975, since I won’t reach 1000 today)] the [(983? Seriously?)] odds be ever in your
(Okay, I can’t do it...1000, here I come.... You cannot bracket words the original author never intended to say! That’s false advertisement!)
Now, that’s perfect.
P.S. (In case you missed it, “cannot” at 1000 and exactly 1,015 words without searching for a way to end. These don’t count because I wrote “P.S.” first. :D (And according to Word, “isn’t it grand,” an emoticon is my 1044th. Beat that, Julia Cameron! (just kidding)) (And I wouldn’t even have had to get out of the bed to check whether it was Julia or Julie if it weren’t for my 36-year-old eyes.)
P.P.S Copied 990 uncensored words for the win. Underachiever.
P.P.P.S EDIT: This is why we don't write in the morning. And it's a good thing my actual goal is the NaNoWriMo 1,667. Oh, wait....
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