20151112

Entered the SC Johnson sweeps but did not win (instantaneous). I did not understand recording a reaction video when I am not yet with my family. Perhaps they should make it more clear, but I was already on the page where I had to cancel before I could read further.

Still trying to write novel, so these may be shorter for now, but recording stream of consciousness that I will not use in novel.

20150914

Gotta write somewhere. Gotta write something. What an appropriate forum.

I'm feeling nervous. I'm sure some of it is starting lessons with a new voice teacher, but I don't know what the rest is.

Perhaps that I'm still angry at X1.

Do "they" choose librarians intentionally who can walk fast? The lady helping me be "another set of eyes" flew down the short stretch to the graphic novels.

Going to look up Julia Cameron. BRB....


Got her and also some note about Letters to a Young Artist... lol. Going to look up Wilke, whose name I only just now got. Haha.

Well, got to checking out Cameron on line and now it's time for warmups. Later.


Edit at 4:28:
Well, really annoying day where nothing worked. Gotta love that, right? Man, the guy behind me is tapping loudly.

That just reminded me of when I asked Marilyn about adverbs and who and whom usage and when grandma had me call her about speaking Italian and when grandma told me about the three degrees.

Typing that reminded me of how important showing off was and the aunt whose name I cannot remember right now and Bradley and Susan and their daughters.

I really don't feel like much right now. Earlier I was thinking, how do you get through places where you are not doing so well to places where you're thriving? What are the instruments?


Only at 234 words, checking Word for count, and finding out that I, at least, can't find word count for a notebook. Pasted in a boring document. Moving on. (P.S. Did not know that there were notebook templates, so that's a plus.)


Just thought of Oprah and her thankfulness initiative.

Things for Which to Be Thankful:
1. breathing
2. stuff
3. food
4. some people
5. music
6. the bari Ray sent me (cried watching that earlier)
7. mom being in my life (even if only for a short period)
8. intelligence
9. changing self-talk around
10. introspection
11. extroversion
12. the library
13. the studios
14. martha's house
15. apples
16. apples
17. God
18. Jesus
19. the Holy Spirit
20. the spirit God gave me
21. light
22. reading

Although I feel a little better, maybe I would feel a lot better with some kind of mood regulator. For now, gonna try food.


Edit at 4:42

So, remembered dreaming something about mom and losing her again. Also dreamt about work. I had to keep training people, but there was one really lazy one and she was gonna get me in trouble so I did my best to remain courteous and encourage her. She didn't move, but work appreciated my attitude, so they just disciplined her.

20150521

With all of the other things I'm writing daily, how will I ever get to this?

Lots of memories today, too. Woke up with them. Don't exactly remember now-vivid dreams but did not document. Did that cause the reminiscent flow?

20150516

I was just thinking about how this being up is starting to annoy me, and I want to change that attitude. It is a good reminder to do it, and I must be able to write even when it is required of me, not just when I have some brilliant insight on which to repose. I also must not let its indication of a number of words limit me. People who read this, namely, me, will not mind if I ramble on and on, since it's just my morning pages. If I were to go on too long in a thesis paper for instance, the instructors/board would be justified in calling me over-verbose. However, this is my space and a place where it's accepted, and somewhat encouraged to do so if that's what makes the good things work.

20150504

I love you, baby! to my dog, Mary, all the time.

franticness

I love the band, Cake. I don't care if their songs sound all alike. They have moments of musical genius, and at least it's a good sound. My big thing is that I love their lyrics. Have a listen. There's no fanlisting. I think I'll make one one of these days.

^^Part One^^

(P.S.) My fingers automatically do what I really want them to even though I have brain "fluffs" sometimes.

Granny saying that "fluff" is better to say than fart.

Eating things we shouldn't have when we were kids and the consequences

With Bree in the computer lab and dancing at ATT
(what else do I remember from being at her barracks?)

Dale Sands' people with blonde hair and brown eyes and the tree swing

^^A Very Long P.S. (Part One-A)^^

20150513

On the inside looking out. Perhaps a worse feeling than being outside looking in. There have been times when I really felt the drive to look like everyone else, to do what they're doing. These times have been few and far between. For the most part, I'm the type to see what exactly we can get by going outside the established norm. "Thinking outside the box," (whether you will, or you won't).

I love to challenge myself, and I love being challenged by the world (to a point--too much young death). Aligning more with the mental and physical synonym venture rather than accost! Requiring passion and bravery rather than patience or planning.(113)

20150507

approx 600 words from Bible study
12:16 PM 5/7/2015

162 words of private memories/memory songs
12:22 PM 5/7/2015

476 freeish words
_____________________________________

1238/750

(Dr. Sykes at my IUB Motown class's Sock Hop, Summer 2013)


What to write about today? Why do I nearly always start with that question? Thinking about the prophesy about questioning as inevitable after that.

Mary’s laying here and being a nice little electric blanket in the relatively cool A/C.

What subjects are interesting this morning? I know I woke up with writing in my head. (Thanks, Rainer Maria Rilke/Sister Act.) Frequently I wake up with a song as well, just like Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) quotes to character Rita Watson (Lauryn Hill). http://classicsdefined.com/letters.html

Abbreviations of thoughts that people who I want to know will understand or remember but that don’t give too much away.

I miss mom. Wrote a mother’s day post today and hearing songs I sang with her and recognizing her lineage and influence in objects scattered around the room, some as random as the Raphael Ninja Turtle figure my friend bought for me as a present for my nephew. Aunt Robin and mom singing Marty Robbins’ “Spanish Lullaby” with us in the back of the car on any number of occasions or on the front porch and the ensuing harmonization discussion that once followed.

At least I can get some of this down. Sometimes I worry about all the time and interesting memories that I’ve lost and then I remember jumping in the fountain after mom picked me up from Bay Street players or Grandma Martha’s story about Deborah C. overhearing my singing in the costume closet in the rafters or my courage in actually trying out for American Idol [too nervous but gorgeous voice] or skating with Skate World in the parade, a small number of seemingly innumerable memories that surface from time to time, I am sure floating down from above to remind me that my life has been full and blessed, no matter the number of tragedies I face.

Inspired voice versus original voice in singing (various sources and Brian) and writing—if I wake up, is that more my original voice than going through the day having interacted with outside stimuli and then writing “under the influence”? (Especially reading Lorrie Smith. I realized that she writes like I think I might do best, in short, beautifully phrased, staccato stream of conscious and subconsciousness.)

It’s still hard to write 1667 for morning pages, so I may choose to stick to 750 for the randomness and do what the one blogger (if you are that blogger, please let me know and I’ll update this) who recommended the plan and some other great hints for easily exceeding 1667 words a day for novels.

As for now, I’m still writing and coming up with things, so perhaps I’ll continue. Let me see how many words more private memories add (66).

Actually, I’ve got to get going with the day, so I’ll go with the 750 for this morning. More later, I hope!